Triggers as blessings in disguise

A lot of the times, when people feel emotionally triggered, they blame the other person for making them feel uncomfortable. And I hear you saying: “When others make me feel sad, angry, worthless etc., it’s definitely not a blessing. It’s their fault. It’s them, not me.”

I know this is a hard pill to swallow at first. Just the thought of being grateful for your triggers can be beyond your imagination. But bear with me, please. Keep on reading.

On our journey of transformation and personal growth, there are times where we retreat to self-heal, where we release some old, stuck emotions, let go of a few of our limiting beliefs and transform some shadow aspects into light.

When we leave our healing space and go out into the world again, we will certainly experience it differently than before. Some people or circumstances will no longer trigger us like they used to. We will not react. We will stay calm and patient in certain situations. Some people will behave differently towards us. We can feel that something has changed.

When we change internally our outer world will reflect it back to us. When you look at it that way, then your outer world is an amazing tool to check in with yourself and your progress on your healing journey. As within, so without. We all know that.

Therefore, one of my spiritual practices is to say “thank you” when I feel triggered. “Thank you for revealing to me what still needs to be healed.” Because the first step on the path of transformation is awareness. Only when we are aware of our wounds, patterns, limiting beliefs etc., we can tend to them.

But what do we do when we are triggered?

When we feel triggered by someone or something, we pause, take a deep breath, leave the situation if possible, and feel into the emotion that has arisen.

We feel it. We let the emotion flow through us.

Feeling is healing.

Then we reflect. We ask questions. What kind of emotion was it? Was it anger, sadness, guilt, shame…? What thoughts arose? What is the underlying theme or limiting belief? Why did it trigger me? Was there a situation in my childhood where I felt the same way?

We ask these questions because it never has anything to do with the person or situation that triggered us. They are a mirror in which we can see some aspects of ourselves that we dislike or deny. It reveals an emotional wound or trauma that was left unhealed.

The mirrors are not to blame. It’s our interpretation of what we see. That’s the reason we get triggered. But we can choose to look at ourselves clearly and objectively. We can choose true perception and be honest with ourselves.

Only when we are willing to look closely with an open mind and open heart can we see the treasure in it.

Triggers are opportunities for growth. They are like little signposts from the Divine that help us on our journey. The Divine doesn’t want to punish us. It wants to support us so that we can heal on all levels, come into our true power, step into our true self and live our purpose.

We can learn so much about ourselves when other people or situations mirror our internal state. They are indeed a blessing. Without these people or circumstances in our life, we wouldn’t know where there’s still inner work to be done.

Only with awareness, self-regulation of our emotional state and self-reflection on our limiting beliefs, thought patterns and behaviours can we progress on our journey of transformation.

Love, compassion and empathy for ourselves and others are key on our path of self-healing. Other people also have their story of suffering.

Remember that we act as mirrors for others as well. So, we don’t take anything personally what other people do or say. We understand that they too are still carrying emotional baggage from their past.

Many people are not ready to face their emotional triggers. They simply blame the other person or circumstance. If they knew what awaited them on the other side of that painful look in the mirror, they would go all in.

What awaits us?

Inner peace, self-love, forgiveness, freedom and that sense of wholeness.

Only through challenges do we grow. Only then can we become a sparkling, unique diamond.

Everyone’s journey is different, but I can tell you that it’s not a journey that we take in one day. It’s a continuous process of becoming aware of our emotional state, of self-regulation and self-reflection. Again and again.

As we progress on our path, we feel less and less triggered until we realise that we have healed certain parts of ourselves. We realise that we have been healed when we stand in the fire and don’t get burned.

Will it be challenging?


Will it be worth it?


And here’s another thought we can consider.

What if the people who trigger us are just fulfilling their soul contract with us?

Let that sink in.

In order for us to grow, their soul has agreed to be the greatest challenge in our life. With this thought we can see through the illusion and recognise the Divine in them. The Divine lives in each one of us. In other words, we are all an expression of the Divine.

This way we can develop gratitude for our triggers.

We realise and truly feel that triggers are blessings in disguise, sent by the Divine.


Ines Kirste

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